Burnt Bacon Pt. 1

Here it is, September 3^rd, 2012, and I haven’t posted anything on my Verbal Vomit blog since March this year. A lot has happened since then and a lot of things have taken a lot of focus away from writing like I normally do. The Verbal Vomit project was designed as venting station. In February of 2011 I was being approached with a lot of different emotions that left me with quite a few unanswered questions. Honestly, more than just a few. I was dealing with some unethical shop owners, coworkers, and an environment I didn’t enjoy and should’ve. The summer of 2010 was when the fat started to rise to the surface and couldn’t be ignored any further but I fought through it. As the winter started to come to close things had gotten so bad I needed an outlet that others could view and throw some advice at me. The rebirth of my old blog Verbal Vomit was born and being outraged for some time the censorship level, word choice, and mentality was purely extravagation. The intent was to verbally vomit on a fairly intense manner. I had continued the blog for a year, and in the last six months I have been avoiding that behavior.

The narwhal bacons at midnight.

June of 2012 my relationship with my girlfriend of 2 years had come to a halt. It broke me pretty badly. I was in a financial situation that my now ex was still willing to help me out with but I felt staying out of her pocket was the best thing. I had called out to my peers in the Facebook world; clients, friends, and Tattooers. I went an entire week in the beginning of summer without any appointments, deposits, or sales of machines. This really opened my eyes to the people around me. I learned that it was going to be difficult to rely on other from this point on because I never ask for help and the one time I swallowed my pride I was left alone. Now the situation isn’t a bad one. It ended well but before things came to end my heart was thrashed and I felt I needed to let the world know. Did I approach the Verbal Vomit universe? No, but I should have. Instead I faced everyone dead on through Facebook.

I posted a many statuses expressing my distaste for my peers and the town I currently reside. Did this affect my business? I don’t think so but I several weeks later I realized that I was in a bad place. Very little help, very little friends, very little cash, and a depression that caused me to eat poorly, stop exercising, lose sleep, and lost all motivation for anything in my life. Did this realization help me out of the ditch I was in? No. I didn’t care enough. I haven’t cared for a couple months in my life, but I have been focusing my energies on being happier, positive and of course my motivation. I knew that being in such a dark place was going to affect my business. I had deposits for tattoos that I would look at several times a day and I would just ignore them. What I did was start scheduling my appointments when I would take the deposits and the day before or day of the appointment I would draw the work. Many artists conduct their business this way. I may have not been the happiest person in the world, or even the saddest, but I kept working.

As the summer of 2012 comes to a close and fall is rearing its beautiful head, I feel the motivation to write again. I have started to eat right again, hitting the treadmill and doing my strength training exercises, as well as sketch, color, and get back into machine building. There will be posts to this new blog, as well as Verbal Vomit. To maintain happiness there must be balance. The Vomit will be interesting to tackle at this point in my life because with everything going on and trying to commit to positivity it will be difficult to write vomit from a Buddhist perspective. It will be achieved.

Welcome to the new blog of Adam Godwin. I thank you all for reading, and I hope to see comments, discussions, and points of views of others realities! Every little bit helps.